Better But Not Quite Fixed

So proud of my girl – I had the pleasure ?? of attending a parent/staff meeting at her boy’s school today to deal with the angst that was going on in my last blog. Interestingly, it’s against policy for anyone other than the child’s parents to attend such meetings but my girl explained…firmly…that I spend more time with him some weeks than either of his parents and since the school has its team, she was coming in with hers. The principal agreed and made me welcome.

Glad I was there as her team included her, me, and her ex who was basically there for reasons that I’m not going to go into and who offered only a couple of off topic remarks.

My girl talked about using restraints on a person experiencing a seizure, the danger of physical trauma, human rights and legal ramifications and also about the emotional damage to a little boy who needs to move. She passionately explained her boy’s journey to where he is now and how much better a place it is than where he was two years ago. She adamantly professed that no one was going to be allowed to reverse the progress this little boy has made.

She addressed the fears that staff may have and explained that yes, seizures were indeed scary but restraining the person seizing would be far more traumatic both immediately and in the long run than handling the situation appropriately would be. She explained how the situation could be handled appropriately.

A great deal of information was shared – staff, I think, learned some things about seizures and about our boy, and his mom learned that her boy’s program is in place, focused, and geared to helping him succeed. The school team was receptive – guaranteed that restraints would not be used and were sympathetic to a couple of other concerns. With continuing communication, I am hopeful that our little guy will have a successful year.

Then why is it not quite fixed? It isn’t fixed because there are devices remaining in this elementary school that can be used to secure a child to his/her seat. I would like to know what the criteria for using such a device is, not relative to our boy. The use of it was considered in very inappropriate circumstances (our boy) so why exactly is this method of control available and what constitutes acceptable use, if there is one.

What happens when another child whose mom isn’t as well-spoken and outgoing as our boy’s mom is expected to approve tying her child into his/her seat for what is supposedly his/her own safety? What if the mom is too shy or too confused and intimidated or too busy to disagree with the “expert”? What happens if the mom hasn’t done her research and isn’t familiar with her rights? Who takes care of a child who is restrained for no reason other than fear or convenience and who is left to deal with the emotional or physical damage done in the process?