Reform School

I am looking for a good reform school a.k.a. puppy class. Lily has graduated from ripping my nylons and eating the keys on my laptop to chewing cupboard doors, chair legs and shoes, not coming when she’s called, and fastidiously keeping the outdoors tidy by coming inside to poop.

Her manners are lacking, could be because she’s spoiled rotten, but nevertheless, she must be taught that “down” means down, “come” means come, "outside" means outside, and “stop chewing that” means stop chewing that.

It’s been a long time since we’ve had a puppy, about fifteen years to be exact. Maybe I don’t remember, but the four Pekingese that preceded Lily weren’t chewers or jumpers, nor, until their twilight years, inside poopers. But there is a huge difference in dogs here.

I’ve come to realize that, on the whole, Pekinese, although cute, fluffy, lion-hearted and affectionate, are dumb as a bag of hammers. Lily, on the other hand, is very quick to learn, smart to the point of being manipulative and definitely sure of what she wants. Unfortunately she wants to chew my shoes and jump up on anyone standing.

Apparently, according to the sales clerk at Pet Smart, Lily needs to be “socialized”, whatever that means. I’m sure she was advocating for the puppy classes held there where I observed teeny Yorkies and Chihuahuas strutting their stuff, but I’d rather find something closer to home, somewhere away from the big city where big dogs are the norm, where there might be a rowdier bunch, a group of peer puppies that could intimidate a very teeny dog with a big attitude, into submission.