What do you do when someone falls down in front of you?
Maybe I’m weird, but I offer what seems appropriate – I hand up, condolences, a
sympathetic smile, further assistance if necessary. I need to mention that
there are so many kind, caring, compassionate people in the world that I
almost, but not quite, feel guilty about writing this post. Maybe I’m off base.
Maybe I’m just unlucky when I fall down.
I don’t fall down a lot. I can count on my fingers the
number of times I’ve fallen down as an adult. It’s always embarrassing and
sometimes a little painful but I’m built close to the ground with ample padding
so I’ve rarely injured myself. Usually I feel a little foolish and hope that no
one has noticed… or maybe not. Let me explain.The past three times I’ve fallen,
more than my knees have been it has bruised.
A few years ago, I was waiting for one of my favourite
little guys to get out of kindergarten and I slipped. There was ice under the
water and mud and down I went. It was messy – I probably splashed. There were
moms standing around, a few dads and school bus drivers waiting in their buses.
I wasn’t hurt and I picked myself up quickly with only my dignity injured. Only
one young mom approached me and asked if I was okay, was there anything she
could do, did I want to go into the school etc.? I thanked her, told her I was
fine. Her attention made me feel better. I like to think that’s how I would
have reacted. After all, I am not invisible.
Then, last winter I fell while walking the dog on our usual
path. Jake was acting like his usual overprotective, foolish self so I tried to
make him sit behind me while a group of young people went past. These were not
kids, but two couples out for a stroll. I tripped over the leash and down I
went.
Embarrassing to do this on the pathway right in front of
people, no? I got up and brushed myself off and glanced self-consciously at the
passing 30-somethings. There wasn’t a smile or a nod – just what I translated
as condescending stares at a silly old woman who shouldn’t be out there is she
can’t stay on her feet. I silently cursed them to take their chances on the
next patch of ice.
I was angry, not at them personally, but at an attitude that
seems to be becoming more and more pervasive. Compassion for others seems to be
lost. Don’t these folks realize how quickly the years pass or how instantly
their own circumstances could change?
However, Friday morning’s incident was the icing on the
cake. When I dropped off my grandsons at school, I waited on the sidewalk and watched them go to their respective doors. Then, as I
turned to go back to the car, I slipped on ice and fell. No one seemed to
notice and that was okay.
I wasn’t hurt. I didn’t expect anyone to come running to my
rescue but as I began to pick myself up, a dad and his two kids came toward me.
I had to wait as he and his kids stepped around me. Come on! He had to notice
me there kneeling on the ground. But there wasn’t a word, a hand, or a smile.
Nothing.
For some reason, this shook me to my core. When I returned
to the car, I cried, not because I was physically injured but because I felt emotionally
hurt, overlooked and insignificant. And I felt very, very sad because so many people
are too busy to offer a smile, a hand up or kind word. What’s more, they are
teaching their children that it’s okay to behave like that. I am not invisible,
damn it.
